The Way

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Everything will be alright
those pills they've taken.
happy inside.

Everything will be alright.
the cuts they've slashed
deep to the bone

Everything will be alright
frames devuldge from vulumptuous smiles
snapping figures sprint

Everything will be alright.
emptiness is a feeling
that fills the void

Everything will be alright.
When brights turn off,
and the light sparks.

Everything will be alright.
Everything will be alright.
Teal @ 7:35 PM

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Careless storm,
Careless breathing.
Horridly magnificent raindrops, mixed,
solely with my blood, tears.

Careless storm,
white noise, they call it, never ending.
Don't shoot 'till you see the whites of their eyes,
I say shut the noise,
Soothe me with the chaos.

Contredanse,
Oh, sharp untuned blade, sustained.
Stab me with your subtle caress,
You careless storm.
fractured plastic, indenting,
Unknown contredanse.

And with your careless storm,
Careless pictures, hang.
painfully cleaned, untouched by hands.
They cannot sense your, stretched hollow.

Careless storm,
throwing tacks at my fingers,
You abhor the drowned dead.
So ignorant of thoughts,
Careless storm.

Teal @ 4:15 PM

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Open
to the shudder
of an incadecent bulb
smashing onto the floor

A ladder
thin
wirey, towers, with a timidly
dangerous angle
swing,
pressing your cheek to the bone
Rose colored pale.

Door knob turns
brassy stain
wind dancing
the door is open.

The door is open
and you bleed.
Drip.
Drip.
down your throat.
Shattered glass
drip.
drip.

Slow the door.
Shut the wind.
Bandage the light
Screw in the blood.
but still, a haunting
Drip.
Drip.

Teal @ 5:59 PM

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Why can't i comply
Why can't i give in
Why do i hide from these flies
of self hate
and fear

Why would life create
such a failure of a person
Wouldn't it learn
from all the fuck ups that came before

I just can't handle myself
I can't feel the knife
I can't stop myself
Plunge into my strife

Stop me now
Someone save this pathetic corpse
Stop me now
And pick up my missing parts
Save me now
And feel the sharp twang
of remorse

You can
just reach into my core
pull out the shredded light
pull out my deranged plight
and fight for my life

Why can't you just give in
Nothing to save
Why can't you just laugh
shave that facade right off your face
Why can't you just cry
pity me
live for me

My first attempts at song writing lol

Teal @ 11:27 PM

Sunday, March 28, 2004

The pale moon
running across my back
frozen
Tap water gushing
face blank
reflected from the once gritty plate

The house shivers
i feel the cold erupt into my body
can't move
never clean
refusing to die
standing alone
this house

I can feel its irking breath upon my neck
clutching me
can't breath
lungs shattered
rubbing the stain

The water steams
burning my
gloved hands
pinching my wrists
punched in the stomach

my glazed stare
unmoving
i can't see
the empty house
the empty world
all i can see the reflection
the reflection.
Teal @ 2:16 PM

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Caroline wrote this i love it

Fear of Failing on my own
No one to help me along
I have to do it all alone again
This time i'll change
This'll be different

I want to do it on my own again
I don't want your help
Stop lending me your fucking brain
I have to think
Leave me alone, I am on my own
Teal @ 5:23 PM

The trains rocks the passengers
Like the child that was never hugged.
Moving into the abyss of reality

Tears streaming down her face
Watching the strangers move along
Their lives
Unknowing to their fetal stab

They can’t see the flying children
Floating over their heads
Laughing,
They are.
Laughing like the dying hyena.
Lets all hope
That this train derails

Watching the children paint the sky with their tears.
From laughter
Rushing through
The spilling water
Slowly moving our heads to watch the world.

Why can’t we all derail.
Wouldn’t everyone be happy then
I would.
The children would cry.
No reason to laugh
When there is no one left.
No more sunsets
No more trains
Just us.

Laughing,
We are.
Laughing like those children
Laughing at the unborn egg.

Put away that round trip
This train derails
When it finally sees
A small toddler
Staring in the distance.
The mother
A deer in headlights.

The toddler,
Plays with its toy train.
Te stars are sparkling
Sun is bright
Mother is crying in the distant
But all it can hear is the laughing.
The Train is leaving,
Now boarding happy people.

-Written on the train to the therapists....i was in a huge fight with my mom and crying the whole time.
Teal @ 5:22 PM

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Happy Pills

My fear,
my uncontrolably fear.
It cries out to me as i reach for the door.
My fingers can't find a soothing note

I've been shreaded
my nerves are a tiger
not fed for a week,
feasting on my heart
ripping out the hope
and leaving the
stench of fear

If you hear me at night
with my screams
torching the quiet night air
the crickets i have murdered with this horrible fear

I can't take those happy pills,
i dont deserve to have that fakeness
that privledge.
Just let me suffer,
devour myself.

I don't succumb to the craving
that pulled me in night after night
sipping my trembled water
with a note of aplomb
i strive to survive,
i don't want to die
yet i kill myself constantly.

I need those happy pills.
but I can't have them.
My suffering is my refugee.
I want a home with my happy pills.
But if i take them.
I'll live in my dreams.
Become addicted to yet another thing.
Teal @ 9:09 PM

open your eyes,
and replinish your life
your out of control
and i can't stop you running

My eyes dried with tears
i understand you fears
i soak up your pain
Let me be your sponge.

Its like watching a mirror,
i can tell your next step
i'm like your tear
thats always running down your cheek.

Believe me i know,
i'm just as confused
i'm trying to be honest
I try not to steal
from others happiness
and i feel you're the same
all i want to do is help.

your not alone,
i'm right here
you can't always tell
but i'm crying underneath
i want you to be happy
i want you not to care
everyone should love you
your not all alone

i'm just as fucked up
don't run from me you see
i might act differently
but i'm completly
out of control
I can't see the blinding lights of reality
all i can see is your pain
i want to solve your problems
i want you to be happy

if you let me,
i wont hide from you
actually i will,
but i might leave a trail
of hints
if you pick up on them
we can be best of friends
and no longer
will we just be addiction buddys
but true friends.

Teal @ 8:51 PM

about

These are my poems. Written in my happiest and darkest hour. Wow that was corny. (tealytoo@yahoo.com)